I Deserve a Treat Sometimes...

Yes, that is what I said...I deserve a treat for my hard work and determination! So what's better than a pedicure after a long day at work? My feet were like, "OH MY GOODNESS! Are you feeling okay?" Said like Shenaenae on Martin or like YUTHANAZIA, if you watch my other YouTube channel. It was so nice to have someone else tend to my stomps. It's really been way too long!

Were you thinking I was talking about giving myself some kind of dessert or something? Depending on how you look at it, that was a dessert.

I have slowed down on my green smoothies the last few days but it's back on and popping. I have some kiwi fruit now! Watch out world! My KBK Smoothie is going to take the world by storm. LOL, I crack my own self up. Kale Banana and Kiwi. I hope it's good. I will surely let you know.

So, don't forget to treat yourself to something nice. Replace that ice cream run with something else like a manicure, pedicure or massage. You deserve. I know I do!

There is a Shape Under There Somewhere...I think.

So I am standing in the mirror looking at myself thinking, "There is a shape under this weight, somewhere, but how do I get to it?" I know overweight folks ask that sometimes. Well, this one does. I can see it sometimes. I call out to it but it just hasn't answered me yet. LOL

One thing that eats my goat (who says stuff like that?) is that I have been given this awesome woman as a gift to my heart and she has never really been with a woman who is big like I am. That makes me nervous sometimes but she is so supportive of this movement of mine. It's truly amazing.

I sigh sometimes. It's that long sigh of the road ahead. I hate it. I wish I could snap my fingers and I be in shape, showing that shape that hides beneath my weight. Snapping my fingers would not make it all as triumphant as it will be to be rewarded for my hard work though. So never mind on that.

I do know one thing or maybe a few things. When I emerge from behind this wall of weight, I will dance my ass off. I will not care about what I might look like full body in front of a camera. I might even make porn... wait, HELL NO, that was a joke. Oh get a grip, it really was a joke. You have to understand the realm in which a fat girl gone healthy thick is in! It has to be amazing. I am thinking next time this year, I will be able to tell you what that feels like. Notice I did not say fat girl gone skinny. I am totally not interested in being skinny.

So those are today's thoughts on my journey and I thought I would share. Remember, no pity parties! Just "Let's Do This!" parties! Let's see if time flies and I can unveil that hidden shape that is somewhere under this weight.

Once a Fatty, Always a Fatty! NOT This Fatty!

I guess you can say I have been overweight all my life. As far back as I can remember it was more than just the chubby cheeks. I remember in grade school, middle school and high school being called fat. I even remember the time I was walking home from Kent Drugs, eating a bag of Funyuns, when some boy I did not even know looked at me and said, "That's why you so fat now!" It's funny the things we remember from childhood. So now I am going on 38 and I am completely sick of it all. Better late than never is what I say. It's time to do something about it and stick with it. If this does not happen, I can only now blame ME.

Recently, I revived a movement, if you will, called H.U.W.A.M. and H.U.W.A.M. stands for: Hold Up Weight A Minute. What does that mean? It means, get off my damn fat back! It means stop brow beating me about losing weight and getting healthy! It means, I know what I need to do and I don't need all of your forced suggestions. It means just give me the support and encouragement that I need to travel this road to a smaller and healthier me.

My thoughts are that WE know what WE need to do to lose weight or get healthy. Yes, you may need some assistance along the way, but get if from a professional. As far as how many weights you need to lift or how many Jenny Craig accounts you need to open, make sure that is what YOU want to do and not what your skinny friend or family member told you that you need to do! I have created a YouTube channel just for this. You can subscribe or observe by going to: http://www.youtube.com/huwam2010

I currently weight 286.6 (My last weight on February 15, 2010) and my goal is to get down to 185. How long am I giving myself? Good question. How ever long it takes. I don't believe in putting extra pressure on myself and I want to be smart about it. I have decided not to be a scale junkie either. The proof will be in the pudding or in the fact that I decided not to eat the pudding. *wink*

This blog will be my online journal about my ups, downs, trials, triumphs, fall offs and successes of this journey. I don't call it a diet, for I am not yet ready to die-yet. This is a lifestyle change that I decided to do for ME. Not to impress another or to prove anything. Just to stay alive and to be healthy is my main motivation.

Won't you join me? Well, at least follow along as the story unfolds.